Friday, September 29, 2006

This is embarassing but oh well- it brings me back

I could talk about high art for the first real post, I could talk about my shitty commute, The smell in madison square park, I could even talk about the mice in my apartment- but why do that when I can talk about what everyone loves to talk about (ok people with no lives) - celebrity trash.


I am not sure if you are aware- which many of you office types or pop cultural addicts are- but the latest trend in failing careers is to go into a "Broadway" show. Why? Not really sure, I mean a musical in its billionth year is hardly the way to prove you have acting "chops".

The latest and greatest is the new Ashlee (yeah everyone, with two EE's, ok) Simpson, new nose, new weight, new hair, now in London as Roxy Heart- made famous in film format by bee stung Ms. Zelwegger (Ashlee chose to skip the ridicule of New York because we were so kind to Ms. Roberts). I feel bad saying this but well, she is actually all right- now let me phrase- she passes like the popular girl in high school who can sing a little and gets the lead because she is pretty and can sorta sing... once again, a little. We all know this girl, the girl you went and saw in that shit show who belted a middle range note and people went "weeehhhooooooOO!

Meanwhile the chubby talented real 'musical theater girl' complete with the "Les Miz" sweatshirt, covering her back rolls in her corset, sits back stage eating donuts pissed she is playing "momma" instead of Roxy. It is during Roxy's big number that FMG (fat musical girl), watching from the wings, doing the steps, lip synching along, decides she has had enough! After her last performance as the character lead (to a standing ovation in the cafetorium) she develops an eating disorder and goes to the Boston Conservatory. There she climbs to the top and goes on to be in a series of Broadway chorus numbers until one day she is told she is too old, reaches for the frosting and its over- she then starts an after school musical program for chubby girls telling them "you could be the next Roxy Heart... I was almost that girl, now a little less eating and a little more Broadway".

The Popular girl? Well she gets a hot ass rich husband- who was once in a circle jerk video as the cum receiver- a nice ring, some stretch marks and 2.5 children in a McMansion and spends her days talking about the time she did three whole numbers on a broken heel during Chicago while in high school.

The Question- Who is the real winner here? I say it’s the fag off to the side commenting on the whole thing.

But I digress...

Anyway here is a chance for you to see that newly fresh faced popular girl in the high school musical.
The big difference- The Brits are paying good money to see this crap.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1U-7jJzzvOE&eurl=

I'm here, I'm illegal... get used to it

Yup, I have joined the ranks of every bored office worker, fat geek, bitchy ugly girl and queen with too much time on their hands and started a blog. Ideally this would be up with my web site but seeing how that is sitting on my computer desktop and not going anywhere right now I thought this could be the next best thing. For who? Why me of course.

I am starting this blog to share some of my thoughts on stupid crap, important crap, people, 'different places!’ bitch, whine, moan about this city (Umm this is NEW YORK Randy- its okay to wear a ball gown made out of polyester in the middle of hot ass July day! Thank you Erin O. for supplying me with a quote that has carried through the years)... pass the time... and relieve my friends of the novels I write to them that they can't read at work.

Who am I? Just your average faggot - nah make that the best, most interesting person you will meet in a long time, okay after a few drinks and if I am in a good mood. I am an artist (groan), a graduate student (double groan), and a pain in the ass (cheers). I think if you stay with me you may find something you like- if not feel free to call me a pansy ass fudge packer with nothing to say... please, do it, because to me its means you are the biggest homo of them all. Seriously- the people who made fun of me the most when growing up- now all suck it in one form or another. Time has been the greatest revenge in that sense.

Okay thank you and more to come...