Rose lost her Turn

Early this week it was reported that famed piano and sing along bar Rose's Turn will be closing its doors forever. All the gay musical men and loud mouth musical girls let out billowing cries of disbelief knowing they could no longer scream along to songs by the piano while getting drunk. It is a sad day when the happiness of a marginalized group is brought to an end by Real Estate, yet again, in this city.

If you had never been to Rose's Turn you missed a treat. I mean that in the most sincere and honest way possible. I am not a piano bar/ sing along kind of guy but I do of course have a story about my own trip to a place I swore I would never go in. I dreaded the idea of a hot bar filled with large clouds of smelly exhaled breath from people singing while downing drinks. To me, people singing along to a piano was worse than Karaoke. A live instrument instead of some cheesy synth back up seems to make people think they can sing, and sing well.

One cold and rainy night I was scheduled to meet up with a group of misfit former musical theater people and a musical composer for dinner and drinks. We chose a campy and ridiculous spot in the Village known for its sausage and schnitzel called Lederhosen. I of course was there early and had to sit at the bar and make obvious gestures that I was waiting for someone lest some stranger think I am a loser (you know the audible sigh and looking at the watch as you drink your second giant beer). Finally when all the late comers arrived we were sat in the back room at a picnic table surrounded by a mountain mural on the wall. The place reminded me of some cafeteria at a YMCA camp or basement of an elementary school. The food was OK, expensive and while fun for a one time deal, not worth it. The beer however, completely worth every last drop.

We payed our check after some rowdy raunchy conversations and of course no one wanted to go home. Our next thought was "where can we go that is not far where we can drink cheap drinks as we just spent all our dough on sausages". My friend Métier lit up and snapped his fingers "I know a place, my friend is working, we can get discounted drinks, maybe even a few rounds for free!" Then he waited for all to agree.

*Note- Métier likes all things campy and ridiculous, I mean two of the guys favorite movies are "The Apple" and "Xanadu". Mike had also been trying to convince us to go to Jekyll and Hide just for shits and giggles- neither of which interested us.

"NOT JEKYLL AND HYDE " we shouted in unison. He looked wounded.

'No no, I know no one wants to go there, just trust me" he replied

Now the thing with Métier is when he doesn't tell you what the place is right off the bat you need to be careful. My best friend, who was with me, and I have known him for years and not telling you a location is sort of his ruse to get you to go somewhere he knows you won't agree to if you hear it ahead of time. She and I looked at each other quickly and almost simultaneously said "Where Métier" in that "OK what is it NOW" way.

"ROSE'S TURN!" he gleamed.

Shit, shit SHIT. A piano bar. A piano bar I vowed never to go into every time I passed it and saw the head shots in the display case. I am not sure why I make stupid "vows" on such dumb things like bars and restaurants and then feel some sort of moral high ground because I VOWED not to go in- but I do it and always end up breaking it. What sort of self respecting gay man would VOW not to go into a piano bar and sing loudly and drunk... ugh- me.

My best friend looked at me and saw my terror.

"Hey we can make fun of people..." in her best tempting the devil voice.

I looked into her eyes for a moment, turned away then after a moment blurted out-

"Hell free drinks- lets do it Métier."

Métier did his happy nervous jump, turn, snap and lead the way to the mischief.

We went through the door and down the three steps as he hollered out to his friend working as a cocktail waitress. It was still quiet in the bar as the singing had not begun yet. The place was dimly lit with a red light dive bar aura about it.The familiar smell of bar rot filled the air. There was a microphone stand and an upright piano in front of a fish tank. In my memory its a fish tank, it totally could have been a wall of "queers" or something for all I know, I was tipsy. I let out a sigh as I sat down, rolled my eyes (nervous habit) and then smiled. Smiling helps when you are scared and nervous- just like whistling (I was Louis in "The King and I" when I was 8 what can I say).

We all ordered our stiff drinks. Métier was beaming, Best Friend and I were chatty, our third misfit, Composer was texting a hook up / former fling and getting ready to jet. The service was good and I must say the people in the bar were extremely friendly, especially the staff. I was starting to ease up and my tensed ass had just relaxed when suddenly there was a tinkle on the key board.

"Ladies and Gentleman, thank you for coming out this evening, my name is Joe and I will be playing for you all... if you have any requests let me know and if I don't know it, I will certainly try and fake it..." he played a few scales and flourishes then moved his mouth closer to the piano microphone so you could hear his giant inhale and out with "It's nine o'clock on a Saturday, the regular crowd shuffles in ... hey Nancy!..." He waved to a big man that walked into the bar. Fear washed over me and my ass tightened again.

I began to panic and looked over at Métier happily chatting with Best Friend, Composer was texting furiously and I had no choice left but to watch this man sing... singing a song...sing oh so seductively... heavily breathing in the mic... looking playfully my way- wait- was he actually cute? Huh, he wasn't bad. His voice was actually kind of good. Hang on hang on.... I was actually beginning to enjoy this.

OK this is after I downed my drink, blushed and promptly ordered another but it was a feeling of joy nonetheless.

The piano man sang a few more songs and picked up the mood with some up beat pop songs. More people began to pile in ranging from flaming queens to tourists and even business men with their arm candy they wanted to seduce. An affable mood was developing in the bar and the place felt like it had a growing "glow". I had about 4 vodka sodas at this point that were mostly vodka so that could have been it too- I of course did not care. I did however need to switch back to beer.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a woman sitting at the bar who seemed very anxious and nervous. I thought perhaps she was a patron like me, lured in by free drinks but terrified of public singing. She had dark short hair hidden underneath a scarf, a septum piercing, sleeveless shirt and cargo pants. A nervous lesbian. She looked around and around at all the people, darting her eyes back and forth. The piano man began to wind down his first set and paused to sip some water. She suddenly got up and approached the mic stand. She leaned over and spoke with the piano man then readjusted her position to one of confidence in front of the crowd.

"Hello" - feedback of course rang through the audience adding to the nerves.

"I just wanted to sing this song for you all, I hope you like it". Her voice quivered. Composer friend chose this moment to get up and leave to meet his sex ex and try and get some. We all said goodbye drunkenly quiet (which everyone knows is loud like a stage whisper). Once he had left and the commotion settled the woman took a deep breath and the piano began.

Now I was pretty drunk at this point so I do not remember what song she sang. I do remember thinking "OF COURSE SHE SANG THAT" which makes me think it was Melissa Ethridge's "I'm the only one" or a K.D. Lang song- but as you know I believe there was a fish tank in the bar too. After the first few painful notes she suddenly loosened up and was actually, dare I say it- GOOD.

Oh my god- I liked this. I, the man who vowed to not have fun in a sing along bar was liking it. I was enjoying the performance from this butch woman who stepped out of her comfort zone and belted a song out with true passion. It was sort of moving, in the way that you find things moving when you are drunk.

After the woman finished the crowd cheered and I let out a big roller coaster style "Weeeeehooooooooooooo!". She looked my way and smiled then went back to the bar to resume her nervous drinking.

This is where the evening became hazy, foggy and amazingly fun. I was being given free drinks, allowed to yell and sing as much as I wanted and no one batted an eyelash. Song after song was being played as waiters came up and did their thing, pointed to the audience for the chorus etc. I started out shyly blurting lyrics here and there too embarrassed to let loose at first. I slowly built up my courage and came up to full musical theater crescendo, singing with all my might by the sixth or seventh song- proud and ashamed that I knew the lyrics to most of the crap being played.

The Climax to the whole affair came when "Total Eclipse of the Heart" began on the piano and our waitress, Métier's friend stepped up to the mic. Silence and goosebumps filled the air as the raspy sorority girls behind us blurted out "I love this song!". It started out as a solo then the audience filled in the duet part. Next thing I know Best Friend, Métier and I were shouting the chorus at the top of our lungs laughing so hard that were were red and out of breath. By the end the whole place was alive with shouts, hoots, laughing and singing as everyone declared

"I really need you tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight
Forever's gonna start tonight"

Then we all warbled down to the serious part slurring around

"Once upon a time there was light in my life
But now there's only love in the dark
Nothing I can say
A total eclipse of the heart"

I had a lump in my throat, a stain on my lap (from my spilt drink) and a tear in my eye. It was beautiful.

We decided that it was time to go when each one of us needed "fresh air". We payed our very low tab, told the waitress she ruled, said goodbye to all the fresh non-drunk faces around us and stumbled up the stairs and out the door into the cool night air. As we walked down the block we all had the look of "One more... come on guys lets go for one more". Métier, embolden with liquor slurred out "no no , I have a real treat jussssshhhh follow me." We walked down the block tripped down some stairs and opened a door to another bar.

Our nostrils were hit with the distinct smell of testosterone, sweaty crotch and urinal cake. We pushed through a crowd and suddenly I heard a familiar tune on the piano. We had stumbled into the all musical theater sing along bar "Marie's Crisis Cafe". There in front of us were tons and tons of gay men singing along to the Guys and Dolls favorite "Sit Down You're Rocking the Boat". The image of twinkle eyed gay men singing to each other in an exaggerated musical theater fashion as if actually in the freaking show is burned into my head. It was just too much. Sing along to a variety of songs was one thing- but to Musicals only- Best Friend and I looked at each other in horror- not for us at ALL. (The place was packed so certainly gay men of that persuasion LOVE the place- and there is NOTHING wrong with that- just not our bag).

We looked at Métier who was swaying and hiccuping and said "We gotta get out of here" and hurried up the steps. We hopped into a cab dragging poor Métier back to Brooklyn with us so he wouldn't have to trek to the Upper West Side reeking of booze as he slid into bed with his sober boyfriend- again. We laughed like crazy in the cab, sang a little, recapped and fell out onto the streets of Sunset Park Brooklyn. Best Friend was kind enough to host our rowdy asses and smoke us out as we talked until 3am. Everyone agreed- killer time.

When I learned of Rose's Turn closing I was actually kind of sad... for a second. I had a blast there that one time. I am glad I did it. I am glad that I got to go to yet another New York landmark place before it was closed or changed for good (just like the time I bought weed with Best Friend in Washington Square park from the same guy who sold weed to the kids in KIDS the movie- and just like the movie it was that "sticks and pebbles crap"--this of course was in the mid 90's before they cleaned up the park and made it boring so old farts would feel comfortable.)

It saddens me that gay men, lesbians, lecherous men and their dates, tourists and anyone of the like will no longer have a piano bar to get drunk, shout out their feelings in the form of a pop song and feel deeply connected to total strangers.

Goodbye Rose's Turn...