Xanadu, ONJ and Broadway

Sunday night, 7 pm, 1980 something I am on the floor in my underroos starring up at the bright colored puppets of Fragle Rock. They sing some songs, the doozers build some things out of radish crystals that the Fraggles eat and I am loving it. Usually when the end is near on the show I would get a feeling of dread and worry, fun time was going to be over and it was time for bed (took me years to realize the beauty of sleep). However this time it was different, this time there was a special treat- Olivia Newton John had her "Physical" tour being broadcast on HBO. I loved Olivia, and I loved the song "physical" because I thought it was about aerobics, my mom taught aerobics and lets face it- I was a mommas boy(my fondest memory- me watching her shout out 'WINDMILL' and all the women doing the "wweeeoooooo" as they kicked their legs up and over). I was allowed to stay up for the first part of her concert then it was off to bed. Dreams of skipping rope and dancing ensued.

Olivia Newton John was my first crush. Now I say "Crush" but really it was a crush in the way a gay boy crushes out- I wanted to be her. I loved her saccharine sweet voice, her spunky personality, her non-offensive all American (yet Australian) looks. I loved that she loved to work out and created soft dance hits with her angelic voice ( I had no idea how dirty "physical" was until three years ago when I put it on a mix for a friend, I mean she is BEGGING for it in the song) . She was just the image of perfection- then along came Madonna and it was so long ONJ.

I often forget that she was my first love and foray into Pop music however when I hear certain songs of hers again (Magic, Suddenly, Physical, Hopelessly Devoted etc.) I feel like I am four again in the back of my mom's blue Oldsmobile with leather seating getting butterflies in my stomach. In fact even writing about her now I am smiling and feel giddy... I am also listening to Xanadu, the failed movie that was intended to launch her big time into movies (it didn't) about a muse who inspires a Santa Monica artist to open a Roller Disco to save "ART". The combo of ELO's rich and full 80's rock orchestrations with the sweet voice of the Australian Beauty- what could be better? Ummm let me see... let me see... a STAGE SHOW OF COURSE! And one where they roller skate damn it!

Well it finally happened.

I have an amazing friend who likes to indulge my gayest of gay sides and takes me to shows, movies, anything campy and ridiculous where I can honestly enjoy myself without judgment. Last week over coffee he casually asked me if I wanted to see XANADU on Broadway. I had walked past the sign two weeks earlier and said "holy shit I want to see that" under my breath lest any business men hear me.

"OH MY GOD TOTALLY!! I LOVE OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN!" my falsetto voice rang out. My face lit up and butterflies fluttered in (I knew full well she would not be in it but her spirit would be there). He was surprised at my reaction and said "Really? All right- a little Xanadu and dinner next Saturday". It was all I could talk about all week long. My Broadway actor friends made fun of me saying it was supposed to be terrible. People in my office kept saying "I know you are gay but I had no idea you were THAT GAY" to which I would reply "Have to believe we are magic" in my out of tune singing voice (because lets be honest- the gays ARE magic)

Saturday night I got dressed in my best attire despite the 85 degree weather with 100% humidity for a night at the theater- Nobody dresses up for it anymore but I don't care. I like to honor actors giving it their all by giving it my all as an audience member and to me that means dressing up. (Its all about respect you t-shirt & jeans wearing tourists who have ruined the art of dressing for the theater.) While yes I was stopped in the street and told "You must be hot!" I didn't freaking care, besides with all the old people going to theater these days they blast the AC almost like a preservative so no one has a heart attack during the show.

We arrived at the theater and realized, yes, we indeed were the demographic this was targeting- gay men, big woman, fans of the movie and people who love rainbows and roller skates all lined up and humming songs. The theater was tiny- the Helen Hayes. The set was that of a Greek theater and at first I was disappointed, I thought it would be all "Starlight Express", the other roller musical, with ramps and fancy lights etc. It was pretty stripped down. There were seats on the the stage, a rock band in the back and a tacky ass projection of a bad chalk drawing on the stage being reflected in the giant mirror above the stage. This is the very mural the young, dumb artist is working on when the muses spring to life and come out of the floor- the COOLEST most campy opening I have seen since Hairspray's bed trick for "Good Morning Baltimore".

The leading man, Sonny played by James Carpinello- who has a hot ass body with 1% body fat but no comic timing or real zip on stage (other than the zip of his rippeling leg muscles), starts the show off with a monolgue that leaves a lot to be desired. The problem- I could not tell if it was his character or him that was so bad, which ultimately left me not caring about him and just hoping his shirt would come off (it didn't). Thankfully this was soon forgotten when the most amazing comedic ensemble rode up in an elevator through the floor to "I'm Alive" through the chalk mural- I could not stop laughing. They even had the neon outlines in the projections on the floor of the "drawing" just like the movie. The muses, a mixture of effeminate hot men and character women with their beautiful leader Clio aka Kira ( Kerry Butler, who was beautiful, sunny, and hilarious) rise up and save Sonny from doom (in the plot line yes, but also from his own performace). They plan everything in faux Greek/Shakespearean/ Victorian - oh hell lets just call it fancy unison theater speak, as to how they can help this poor California artist. Clio decided she must go down to help him however she must not create art or fall in love. But how? how? She must have a disguise... that disguise- Leg warmers, roller skates and an Australian accent (the leg warmers end up being the thing that saves her life) Brilliant! The audience went nuts. I knew this show was going to rule the second Kerry Butler rolls on stage in her awesome skates with clear green flowered wheels, pink roller plates (the axles if you will), white boots, leg warmers and barret to the side of her flowing blonde hair.

The cheesy jokes, the outlandish dialogue all worked because the actors were all so amazingly committed and having a good time. Its rare to see EVERYONE and I mean EVERYONE in a cast enjoying themselves. Kerry Butler was better than I could have imagined. She had that ONJ feeling right down to her breathy "look at me" in the beginning of "Suddenly" (which includes Sonny and her dancing around with a phone booth in skates- yes people its true and it was pretty awesome). All her pop vocal nuances that sited ONJ were dead on without feeling like a Karaoke version or impersonation but an homage and a genuine comedic performance. Her Australian accent was HILARIOUS accenting all the words like "Unleeeeees" (as she rolls down a ramp with one foot out approaching Sonny) and "Mate" to give it that extra funny kick. The highlight to her hijinx is in the final number ("Xanadu") when she rolls downstage to a high wind fan being held up by a muse and blows her hair around with "sexy face" ala ONJ- I almost peed my pants it was so damn funny. It takes a lot to get me to laugh out loud and feel it all the way to the core- My friend Sonia is one of the few people who can do this- Kerry Butler, now you too.

The plot is different from the movie a bit from what I understand (only seen clips of it) but it worked very well. The two added jealous, villainous sister muses, Mary Testa and Jackie Hoffman (muse of tradgedy and epic respectively), bring the laughs and the vocal goods during songs like "Evil Woman" & "Strange Magic" both deserved a standing ovation for their comic genius. The dancers were amazing, and for such a small space they really were doing tough choreography. Andre Ward had one of the funniest moments in the show where he is Hermes delivering news to Clio in a very upright and straightforward manner when she goes on and on about her problems he sashays his cape away and says "Bitch- I don't know you" and storms off like a diva. Once again sheer comic grace.

YES- there is a ride on a cut out horse, Pegasus, to bring Clio to Zeus where she swoops gently through the cut out clouds and fog machines. YES Clash of the Titans comes to mind when on Mt. Olympus. YES there is some great tap dancing. Finally YES- there is a roller disco finale with tricks galore and awesome spandex and shorts costumes. (James Carpinello redeems himself with his skating abilities and his short shorts- very hot).

Now this show won't last - as was stated by the amazingly talented Jackie Hoffman in the show "This is like Children's Theater for 40 year old gay people" - and tourists don't like that nor get it but I sure did. All the sly references like how the show was ending (only an hour and a half no intermission) and "They only just hit the barricade across the street for the first time" (referencing its neighbor Les Miz) were lost on many but not those they targeted. We all laughed with aplomb because WE all got the jokes and that always makes a spectator feel special and more involved in a production of this sort.

This show feels like an over the top, rediculous breath of fresh air and while it may seem like a campy sketch comedy rendition of a muscial it KNOWS what it is and the sincerity of the performers make it work. Just when you are about to shift your numb butt in your seat the show is over and you are still laughing. I encourage anyone who Loves ONJ, Loves ELO, Loves 80s cheese, loves ROLLER SKATES and wants to laugh and have a good time to go and see this show- support these actors and give them the respect they deserve for truly taking you to a magical funny place, "Xanadu". (and dress up damn it!)