I am the type of person that talks about my dreams, knows its annoying for anyone else to hear, and am annoyed when others tell me theirs (unless I am in them- like this one friend of mine had this boyfriend, straight, he used to have dreams of me sticking things in his ass. The best part - he liked it, found out later he was into anal pleasure. Crazy right?) YET I still talk about my dreams despite knowing all these things. I have stopped doing it as much but my poor mom hears them a lot and just replies with "mmmmmm... its craaaaaazy".
I have these fucked up dreams constantly about being back in high school. Not my public high school but the school I transferred to as a Junior (see previous "walk on by" post about the school for artistically inclined spoiled teenagers). This school was intense. It took the most of the rejected, teased, and often times gay teenagers from all over the country, plopped them down on a campus that looked like a Swiss ski lodge and told them to interact. I was in shock when I went there. It was the first time I was not the only boy who knew the all the words to Into the Woods, Godspell, Les Miserables, Hair... ( I really should not continue or I will embarrass myself). I could sit with a group of guys and girls and sing Sondhiem patter songs without missing a beat and have it be considered "cool"- by whom? I don't know because now I cringe when I think of that. I got to take an Art History class (thank god for that eye opener), write and direct a play, act like a fool, sing and dance- everything I had ever wanted. This was the best thing to happen to me since I discovered masturbation- yet the worst thing to destroy my teenage, weak as a dollar store paper plate ego but I digress.
I dream about this place a lot. I used to dream about meeting Madonna ( who I think would be the biggest most boring bitch if I ever met here) but as of the past few years it has been all about this place. I am always my current age and I am going about my normal business in classes, auditioning for shows, being broken down by asshole teachers, friends are backstabbing me, I am thrown on stage not knowing lines for a show I wasn't sure I was cast in to begin with- the usual anxiety dreams. There always comes a point in the dream where I realize - wait, I have my high school diploma don't I? Hold on, didn't I already go to college? Wait, I fucking stopped doing this musical crap right? What am I doing in high school? Then someone, usually some little shit I didn't like in school, tells me "oh no, they screwed up, you need to do this again". My stomach sinks and I accept the awful fate that has been bestowed on me in dreamland. I wake up sweating and VERY glad it was only a dream.
Last night was the first time the dream happened where I had made the conscious(well unconscious) choice in the dream to go BACK to HIGH SCHOOL. It seemed so real that I said "Gosh I can't believe I used to dream about this all the time and here I am , I should pinch myself and make sure this is real". I pinched and it FREAKING WAS! At one point in an anxious fit I even offered to have sex with a teacher, now normally if this were a "dream" we would have had sex right there and then ( I am notorious for that in my dreams. I used to have these dreams where guys were trying to kill me and I would say "don't kill me, don't kill me- please... i will suck your cock" and it would work, we would suddenly be having sex, hot rough nasty sex sometimes vampire sex.) However this time- nope he turned me down and said it was "flattering"- which added all to much to the realism of the situation. A number of flustering, awful, terrible, never want to happen in real life ( in the dream of course I thought the were happening) events ensued.
I woke up in exhausted and with a stomach ache in a horrible mood. This mood was then combined with a ride on the good ole F train, seeing a dead body on the street (yes really, one of the local crack heads had a stroke in a doorway. They merely placed a sheet over his shocked face and it kept blowing around while the police picked their ass) and general nastiness throughout the day
I really wish my high school would stay in the past- stop haunting me or standing in for anxious situations. I have had so many cool things happen in my life since then. I loved college, lived abroad, moved around and lead an interesting life- why can't I dream about those things?
Dreams are just so fucked up and so was that place...
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
This one's on the house...
I was out last night with WAGIN and LCL, my two best friends ( WAGIN is also Prado for anyone who actually is following this, I think that is no one but whatever) celebrating the fact that I am not flunking out of graduate school - I am in fact doing quite well. I finally handed in work and got results back. I thought I was failing miserably on tests in my systems class- ahh nope, did extremely well (phew). I thought my project for compositing sucked- ahh nope, it was pretty freaking cool and the professor dug it. It was all such a giant relief that my stomach finally stopped churning, I regained my composure, and decided drinks to celebrate versus drink to drown my sorrows.
I met up with LCL and WAGIN at Beauty Bar- their favorite hot spot for checking out cute, dirty, skinny boys. They were in full force on their third round laughing and talking to strangers when I pranced in with my test in hand to show everyone like a freaking first grader. Our favorite bartender was there (with a bad hair cut and a shirt that was a little too tight) so we were happy. The three of us began the chatting, the bitching, spilling secrets one of us told the other not to tell the third and then we all laugh at how we can't keep secrets- it was like a slumber party in public without the panty freezing.
I had two Makers on the rocks- at 7$ a pop and a 2$ tip on each drink. I am broke so this money was my allotted 19$ for the week ( bought a coffee earlier)for those snacks and drinks that pop up. I had decided drinks and liver damange to celebrate were as good a reason to blow that money than any so I spent it all- high roller here. When it was time to get going our bartender came around and gave us a free round letting us know "This one's on the house". Cool right!? I was in the middle of a conversation but managed a "Wow, cool, thanks a lot man." and left it on the bar as the ladies contemplated their fifth free drink and said "eh fuck it" and went for it. I was deep in conversation and whisky f's me up so I didn't touch my drink for a bit. A few minutes went by and he comes back " This one's on me... Ok man", taps the bar and looks at me sternly. I said "thanks"- went back to my conversation. A few minutes later he looked over at me not touching my drink and gave me the "sup" nod.
I realized he was looking for a big freaking tip- the money I would have spent on the drink to go in his pocket. I know bartenders, I worked at a bar for a while as a shitty cocktail waiter (bad move when you work with all women at a down scaled version of hooters. Guys get pissed when they expect a waitress with big tits or a nice ass to serve them beer and a sassy faggot with a mouth of a sailor comes up to them and asks what they want. Of course 6 beers later their attitude changes to "a mouth's a mouth" and they think you are a hot riot... I never went there mind you but you know what I mean). Back to the tip issue- as I stated before I am broke, I had 1$ in my wallet, 1 meager little dollar to get my coffee in the morning without having to scrounge for change. I reached in because I knew he wanted it. I then turned to LCL and said "do you have any cash" she did but all large bills so she gave me her only single. I put down the 2$ after he glanced at me a third again. I was livid.
The point of "on the house" or "on me" means FREE. Not - give me your damn money like its a hold up. I would not have ORDERED the fucking third drink as I did not have the money. He put it in front of me and insisted I take it - twice verbally and once visually with his eyes! I should not feel obligated to tip his stupid ass for forcing booze down my throat. WAGIN came stumbling back from the bathroom and I told her the situation. She quickly offered to put money down for me and I said "NO! I didn't order the drink, I understand it was a favor, I gave him the tip I would have given him if I bought the drink and that should be enough." and I stand by that. We downed the drinks and left.
I am not cheap when it comes to tipping- I believe in tipping well. I understand the thought process of bartending, how it works. My close friend all throughout college was the head bartender at TT the Bears in Boston and I would visit her all the f'n time to drink and hear music. I befriended bartenders all over the city of Boston thanks to my various waiting jobs and they always gave me free drinks or bought rounds because I was generous. They also wanted me to stick around and keep them company, make them laugh, protect them from all the slime in the bar that really wanted their attention (it tended to be the female bartenders who liked me- but a few guys liked my money). Money, aka good tips, get you stronger drinks and faster service (most of the time, unless its some dumb fucking ho' in a bikini shaking her fake tits- then it gets you a fake tit shake).
The most important thing to keep in mind is they are POURING A DRINK. They are not jacking you off, massaging your feet, carrying your bags, etc. so a tip should be reasonable (I think 2$-4$ on a hard drink depending on difficulty , 1$-2$ on a beer) anyone who expects more is a greedy ass.
When the bartender buys you a round or says its on the house it is usually a THANK YOU for your generous tipping and I feel one should not be expected to fork over the 9$ they would not have spent on a drink they didn't really want anyway.
I met up with LCL and WAGIN at Beauty Bar- their favorite hot spot for checking out cute, dirty, skinny boys. They were in full force on their third round laughing and talking to strangers when I pranced in with my test in hand to show everyone like a freaking first grader. Our favorite bartender was there (with a bad hair cut and a shirt that was a little too tight) so we were happy. The three of us began the chatting, the bitching, spilling secrets one of us told the other not to tell the third and then we all laugh at how we can't keep secrets- it was like a slumber party in public without the panty freezing.
I had two Makers on the rocks- at 7$ a pop and a 2$ tip on each drink. I am broke so this money was my allotted 19$ for the week ( bought a coffee earlier)for those snacks and drinks that pop up. I had decided drinks and liver damange to celebrate were as good a reason to blow that money than any so I spent it all- high roller here. When it was time to get going our bartender came around and gave us a free round letting us know "This one's on the house". Cool right!? I was in the middle of a conversation but managed a "Wow, cool, thanks a lot man." and left it on the bar as the ladies contemplated their fifth free drink and said "eh fuck it" and went for it. I was deep in conversation and whisky f's me up so I didn't touch my drink for a bit. A few minutes went by and he comes back " This one's on me... Ok man", taps the bar and looks at me sternly. I said "thanks"- went back to my conversation. A few minutes later he looked over at me not touching my drink and gave me the "sup" nod.
I realized he was looking for a big freaking tip- the money I would have spent on the drink to go in his pocket. I know bartenders, I worked at a bar for a while as a shitty cocktail waiter (bad move when you work with all women at a down scaled version of hooters. Guys get pissed when they expect a waitress with big tits or a nice ass to serve them beer and a sassy faggot with a mouth of a sailor comes up to them and asks what they want. Of course 6 beers later their attitude changes to "a mouth's a mouth" and they think you are a hot riot... I never went there mind you but you know what I mean). Back to the tip issue- as I stated before I am broke, I had 1$ in my wallet, 1 meager little dollar to get my coffee in the morning without having to scrounge for change. I reached in because I knew he wanted it. I then turned to LCL and said "do you have any cash" she did but all large bills so she gave me her only single. I put down the 2$ after he glanced at me a third again. I was livid.
The point of "on the house" or "on me" means FREE. Not - give me your damn money like its a hold up. I would not have ORDERED the fucking third drink as I did not have the money. He put it in front of me and insisted I take it - twice verbally and once visually with his eyes! I should not feel obligated to tip his stupid ass for forcing booze down my throat. WAGIN came stumbling back from the bathroom and I told her the situation. She quickly offered to put money down for me and I said "NO! I didn't order the drink, I understand it was a favor, I gave him the tip I would have given him if I bought the drink and that should be enough." and I stand by that. We downed the drinks and left.
I am not cheap when it comes to tipping- I believe in tipping well. I understand the thought process of bartending, how it works. My close friend all throughout college was the head bartender at TT the Bears in Boston and I would visit her all the f'n time to drink and hear music. I befriended bartenders all over the city of Boston thanks to my various waiting jobs and they always gave me free drinks or bought rounds because I was generous. They also wanted me to stick around and keep them company, make them laugh, protect them from all the slime in the bar that really wanted their attention (it tended to be the female bartenders who liked me- but a few guys liked my money). Money, aka good tips, get you stronger drinks and faster service (most of the time, unless its some dumb fucking ho' in a bikini shaking her fake tits- then it gets you a fake tit shake).
The most important thing to keep in mind is they are POURING A DRINK. They are not jacking you off, massaging your feet, carrying your bags, etc. so a tip should be reasonable (I think 2$-4$ on a hard drink depending on difficulty , 1$-2$ on a beer) anyone who expects more is a greedy ass.
When the bartender buys you a round or says its on the house it is usually a THANK YOU for your generous tipping and I feel one should not be expected to fork over the 9$ they would not have spent on a drink they didn't really want anyway.
I love Dlisted
I love this blog.
Dlisted
The only problem is sometimes you have to click the header a few times to get to the most recent updates- but that is seriously because I check the thing constantly.
The guy is really funny who writes it and he is ALWAYS the first to report on celebrity trash.
I used to read "Pink is the new Blog " before that fag started talking about his new boyfriend constantly, how he is in "lurve", his trip to Paris, and then all his shameless self promotion (people, well fat girls and fags, holding up shitty construction paper signs with 'Pink is the new Blog' on it). Then he was all into the fact that he was in GQ, met Madonna, was at the MTV awards- I admit all these things are cool but I don't want to read 3 paragraphs on how great you are- I want to see nipple slips and read who punched who at the after party- maybe a little snide comment here and there. Its like "Dude you write a fucking gossip blog- and not even a good one because you are too busy saying lame ass shit like 'lurve' and 'skrinks'". Seriously. He also moved to LA and thinks he is fabulous now- LA does not make you fabulous, money makes you fabulous (kidding that was a Madge inspired quote from Truth or Dare aka In bed with Madonna). All it means is he wakes up 3 hours later than the east coast and his gossip is stale, all the other bitchy fags have already found those pictures of Nicole Ritchie pretending to eat or Britney at Taco Bell made their comments and moved on. I guess I shouldn't TOTALLY diss him- I still read the trash- its something I love to hate- like the new plus sized Tyra Banks.
Anyway Dlisted RULES. It is just too damn funny. I love that the guy goes way over the edge and doesn't apologize. He is always updating the thing, has caption contests, celebrity birthdays, slut of the day and week (was Jennifer Saunders last week- nice one man). He gives all the bored office workers and teenagers something new to read every few hours and I appreciate that.Someday I want to hang out with his bitchy ass while we drink proseco and watch top model yelling at Tyra's cheesy ass when she strikes a pose "like THIS" (imagine Tyra striking some cheeky ridiculous pose with her eyes bugged out). Hats Off man! I highly suggest checking it out.
Dlisted
Dlisted
The only problem is sometimes you have to click the header a few times to get to the most recent updates- but that is seriously because I check the thing constantly.
The guy is really funny who writes it and he is ALWAYS the first to report on celebrity trash.
I used to read "Pink is the new Blog " before that fag started talking about his new boyfriend constantly, how he is in "lurve", his trip to Paris, and then all his shameless self promotion (people, well fat girls and fags, holding up shitty construction paper signs with 'Pink is the new Blog' on it). Then he was all into the fact that he was in GQ, met Madonna, was at the MTV awards- I admit all these things are cool but I don't want to read 3 paragraphs on how great you are- I want to see nipple slips and read who punched who at the after party- maybe a little snide comment here and there. Its like "Dude you write a fucking gossip blog- and not even a good one because you are too busy saying lame ass shit like 'lurve' and 'skrinks'". Seriously. He also moved to LA and thinks he is fabulous now- LA does not make you fabulous, money makes you fabulous (kidding that was a Madge inspired quote from Truth or Dare aka In bed with Madonna). All it means is he wakes up 3 hours later than the east coast and his gossip is stale, all the other bitchy fags have already found those pictures of Nicole Ritchie pretending to eat or Britney at Taco Bell made their comments and moved on. I guess I shouldn't TOTALLY diss him- I still read the trash- its something I love to hate- like the new plus sized Tyra Banks.
Anyway Dlisted RULES. It is just too damn funny. I love that the guy goes way over the edge and doesn't apologize. He is always updating the thing, has caption contests, celebrity birthdays, slut of the day and week (was Jennifer Saunders last week- nice one man). He gives all the bored office workers and teenagers something new to read every few hours and I appreciate that.Someday I want to hang out with his bitchy ass while we drink proseco and watch top model yelling at Tyra's cheesy ass when she strikes a pose "like THIS" (imagine Tyra striking some cheeky ridiculous pose with her eyes bugged out). Hats Off man! I highly suggest checking it out.
Dlisted
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