La Dolce Self Indulgence

People in New York, Porn fans and gay men know- Michael Lucas, the self loving former "model" turned pornographer- has been working 'hard' on a remake of La Dolce Vita. This man is out of control. I can not even believe I am going to put the link to the "teaser" (complete with sad, deep, sounding piano, fashion show and blowjob). La Dolce Self Indulgence

I am a fan of his porn. I think it is well shot, all the guys are hot, have nice cocks, go from wild to mild so I can pick my flavor depending on my mood, etc. I even met the man under some interesting circumstances and was 'star' struck- all of which is a another story. It changed my perception on porn but was enlightening and he was very nice.

The problem with this movie is it is so "look at me everybody I am making an artful movie with graphic sex scenes and I am in it as well, look at me damn it, look at me, look at my cock, now look at me, I am a good looking man, LOOK AT ME I AM AN ARTIST" (all said with his Russian/euro accent).The guy LOVES himself, which is great- I wish I loved myself a third as much as he does- but when remaking an Italian Cinema classic loving yourself is not enough. Dude you make porn, no matter what you say its porn. Its good porn, but its porn. People have tried since the invention of porn to incorporate a good plot- NO ONE CARES. It harkens back to the days of shock cinema in the 30's- no one cared about the plot, they just wanted to see the ape woman on screen.

People don't watch porn for plot. No one wants to watch bad actors who are stiff (not that way... yet), can't deliver lines, their eyes are all shifty and constantly looking at or off the camera and have deep Hungarian, Russian, chezck or faggot accents- its just not what your interested in when you have a bottle of lube next to you and your hand ready to go. Porn actors are in the movie because they look good having sex- plain and simple. How many gay men are REALLY going to watch this for the 'art'? If they tell you they are, they are full of shit. Gay men are all going to fast forward most of the shit dialogue and poor performances to see who makes out with who, who has a bigger cock, who sucks who, who fucks who, how they look when they cum and who had a nice money shot. No one is interested in the "scenery" of New York, the 'costumes' (which look pretty much the same as his other movies- Euro Trash chic. You know this look well- the black suite, a bright colored open shirt with a chain and wet over styled hair) racy plot lines, or how he updated it and transferred it to New York (starring himself of course). If he was really going for a cinematic feel he also would have used film (now he could have but it looks an awful lot like it was shot on HD or 24p). No one cares that Amanda Lepore makes an appearance, there are women in the film (a rare thing for a Lucas production, in fact I don't think I have ever seen a woman in one of his movies) and he got access to all these interesting locations. It is just so ridiculous.

Michael Lucas, I love you. I would gladly work in post production for you doing titles, graphics, touch ups whatever (had to throw that in there). I think you are one of the great characters in the world of pornography, you are an excellent artist of sex- that is your medium- not film. I appreciate the attempt, I think its great you gave it a try- but in the future stick to what you know, Fire Island cruising 1,2 &3.