Public masturbation

There is a homeless woman who sits outside our building that Jamaica and I call "peeln'eat shrimp" why? You guessed it; she is always eating peel and eat shrimp. It’s very strange. She sits there with her cart, velour sweatpants and oversized jacket chewing on a bag of shrimp. I have been informed she has been seen eating sushi platters as well, bitch likes it raw I guess. I am not one to tell a homeless person how to eat, it’s their money, it’s their stomachs- I just don't know about discounted sushi and shrimp- but more power to her.

Today I noticed PeelnEat had her hands somewhere that was not in a bag of shrimp- they were in her pants. Not in the "stay warm" way but in the "working up a sweat" kind of way. Yes folks she was working her privates over in front of the fruit stand. I was shocked, but if anyone knows me, I like shock- so I looked for a few more seconds to makes sure it was real then continued on my way. The craziest thing- this is not the first time I have seen a homeless person, or any person masturbate in public- but it is the first time it has been a woman.

Once on the fourth of July a drunk smelly man was touching his rather small erect penis by a garbage can near some poor women (yeah I looked, yeah I watched, yeah I did nothing- I was drunk too). The woman called out "There's a MAN EXPOSING himself over here!" over and over as he swayed back and forth to the rhythm of her voice saying "shut up ... I am uhhhhh... shhhhhh". Eventually the police arrived and carted his exposed ass and erect penis out of the station and onto the street where exposing yourself can happen in a nice quiet back ally.

Another time there was a homeless man sitting in the station having what I thought was a seizure. I went over to see if he was ok. The guy was shouting up a storm saying "oh yeah! Oh LORD, oh" and jerking like no tomorrow. When I was within 10 feet of him I soon realized it was no seizure, it was intense and deep masturbation. At that point a concerned young woman had called the police down to go over and see if he was ok- she too thinking it was seizures. What did the police do- nothing. They came back to us and said "he's homeless". Umm NO KIDDING REALLY! I felt sorry for the guy however, I was not about to go over and give him money for masturbating on the subway platform.

This public masturbation is not limited to the crazies or the homeless. Oh no, many young women will tell you of the business men standing next to them on the subway rubbing one out in their pocket. My good friend WAGIN has had a man come up to her with his penis in a book, open it up and show her the "hairy potato" as she calls it and smile. She jumped up immediately calling him a bastard and thus looking like the crazy one. I know if I had been on that train down the car I would have thought "who is that crazy bitch screaming".

My favorite was the one time a man in elastic waist pants, heavy gut and dirty t-shirt sat across from me and rubbed away like nothing was strange about it. There were several people and children in the car- granted it was 2am and children should be home and asleep but that is not the point. I should have moved but I didn't- once again, I like shock and also I was drunk (again). I just sort of watched and stared him down. I was once told by a young woman I met at a bar that if you do that, stare, they leave you alone. She then informed me that if that doesn't work laugh at them. When flashers and public masturbators do their thing many times they want a look of shock to go home and jerk off to- or to stand by the trash and jerk off to- whichever is closest. If you aren't shocked, which a number of New Yorkers tend not to be, they lose their erections and go away. Neither worked in this case and I went into "subway mediation". In hindsight, probably not the best thing to do when drunk at 2am and man is masturbating across from you.

I enjoy masturbation a good deal. I love it in fact. After seeing this woman today I wondered what it takes to get to the point where its ok for you to masturbate in public like a monkey in a zoo. The closest I have ever come to public masturbation wasn’t even masturbation- it was a blowjob in a stairwell- but that is another story. One never knows when they could snap in this city. All the pressure we are under, all the people we see day in and day out, one day you could be walking down the street a normal average city citizen, the next thing you know SNAP you have a taste for day old sushi and masturbating in the park. Well at least thats how I see it happening...